Lady-friend (lay-dee-frah-end) n. a female, or person who identifies as female (it’s 2015), who is ambiguous in age and name. Typically a youngish, somewhat attractive female who you meet via a close male friend, or a person who identifies as male (I GOT YOU Transparent) after canoodling has occurred. Often, you are already well aware of the lady-friend before she is aware of you.
Dan and Mandie walk into kitchen, giggling, with a bit of glitter and alcohol still on their clothes.
Dan: “Yo, Rachel, this is my, uh, friend, Mandie.”
Rachel: “Hi Mandie, you must be Dan’s latest lady-friend.”
Dan punches Rachel in the face with his eyes.
Dan grabs his keys in the middle of Boyhood at 1:33 AM on a Tuesday.
Rachel: “Where the hell are you going? He’s just about to hit high school!”
Dan: “I’m just-“
Rachel: “Ahh, Bup. Bup. Lady-friend.”
Mandie and Rachel sit in the hospital waiting room at 4AM on the same Tuesday.
Rachel: “Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in, but in my defense, I had no idea that you were using the hammock like that, and honestly I had been knocking and telling you guys to keep it-“
Mandie: “We told you not to come in! And like, in general, you NEED to back off.”
Rachel: “YOUR NAME IS MANDIE WITH AN “I” AND AN “E.”
Dan comes into the waiting room, ice wrapped around his danger zone.
Dan: Sick, Rach. Sick.
Rachel: You know what? I’ll leave you and your lady-friend to it then. Boyhood is STILL on!
Rachel exits building with middle fingers in the air. No explosions happen as she exits the building.